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TDoR 2022 - Filling a Hole In the Heart

  • Writer: L.Thomas
    L.Thomas
  • Nov 20, 2022
  • 3 min read

"Because it fills a hole in my heart."


That was my stepdad's response to mom while they admired a garden bed's short border painted in rainbow colors. The Pulse Shooting, which was the catalyst for my stepfather's hole in his heart, was considered the deadliest mass shooting in U.S. history. It hurt not because it was another meaningless loss of life of youth or a newspaper office. It hurt more hearing that the LGBTQ+ community was the target simply because they loved those they truly loved and didn't hide it.


It hurts as more than 50% of individuals who identified as LGBTQ+ are reminded on Sundays that they are not welcomed in what Christians claim to be God's House.(1) Many Christian leaders didn't name the LGBTQ+ people as the target of the Pulse Shooting even though it was in an LGBTQ+ nightclub. It was and is an undeniable fact.


Today is the annual Transgender Day of Remembrance (11/20). While meditating on my minister's words this morning on the Beatitudes, I discovered that Club Q in Colorado Springs was the target of what can only be called a hate crime against LGBTQ+ individuals. It can only be called a hate crime. We can only call Pulse Shooting a hate crime. There isn't wiggle room for a "but" or "if." And the sad reality is those charismatic preachers who declare they hold the key to God's Love will claim this as some punishment in the next few days.

As a data person in human services, I know firsthand how easy it is to lose sight that whatever paperwork I handle is human. It is as easy as forgetting that COVID-19 is an actual virus that has taken over 6.5 million deaths until a loved one dies.


The fact that 73 transgender individuals worldwide have lost their lives runs the risk of not feeling real this year. It also runs the risk of the question "so what?" when we consider how many people die daily. The real disservice of "so what?" is lacking recognition that individuals died for embodying what their gender is. We weep and protest actions such as genital cutting for those forced to experience this procedure. We mourn and oppose eugenics on those whose only "crime" is being disabled. Those who die because someone does not like them for being transgender should hurt bone deep.


In Vermont, I grapple with the loss of Fern Feather, who died on April 12, 2022, (2) because a person perceived that Fern was "hitting" on them when Fern was being generous and giving them a lift when they hit hard times. I walked home in the dark on April 15, 2022, after holding a vigil in my church's sanctuary on Good Friday with a slight tinge of fear that I had not experienced before. Eleven days later, the Pride Center Vermont's door was smashed by rocks creating a hole like what my stepfather felt.


So I leave you with these prophetic words from the American Singer-Songwriter Jewel:


We've made houses for hatred It's time we made a place Where people's souls may be seen and made safe Be careful with each other These fragile flames For innocence can't be lost It just needs to be maintained

(Innocence Maintained – 1995)


“Blessed are the T, for they will be riotously celebrated in the Kingdom of God.”- The Rev. Dr. Jennifer Hasler (3)


References:

(2) Remembering Our Dead


(3) God’s community comes to one like me

 
 
 

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