"God is Interfering with My Sex Life and I Don't Know Why!"

What happens when we are sure about something, and six months down the road, we realize that the course has changed?

If we hold on to the theology that God is Omnipotent, we may blame God. It makes sense, right?

God sees tragedy, and God can, if so inclined, answer our prayer request in the "Yahweh!" inbox.

Discerning intimate relationships at the intersectionality of religion and sexuality is not easy. It hasn't been a simple prayer of "God, why have you abandoned me in my time of need of a fulfilling power dynamic?" The God I believe in doesn't withhold sex or intimacy as a way of causing pain and suffering. Some would lump this into why God allows terrible things to happen to good people, which is a topic for another day.

For example, my discernment looks like conversations with a good friend since God is on the journey with me. God will let me know if something doesn't quite fit when I feel required to "try on" a decision. There is no harm, no foul, in trying on decisions if we keep boundaries. If it's not your color, God will let you know if something seems unethical.

Like those ballet boots that kill my feet, I ask myself, "Is this the only chance I'll get while putting them back on the rack?"

From this week's Gospel reading, Luke 13: 31-35, the tempting Fox can see our anxieties about intimate relationships just like our anxieties around something that doesn't fit, but we want it so much. Our fears are like the hens.

The tempting Fox can be sly, mischievous, and a trickster. The doubt that we will never have a chance to have sex or intimacy can sneak into our subconsciousness. No matter how sure someone can be with their judgment call, no matter how much confidence in the decision that it's not the right fit, it's human nature to wonder if this is the end game. At that moment, the guard goes down, and the hens are no longer guarded.

This scripture can make it sound easy: "Listen, I am casting out demons and performing cures today and tomorrow […]". Wouldn't it be grand to be assured that whatever "demon" we perceive is tempting us can be cast out? It would be comforting to know the cure we may be looking for in these moments of loneliness and wondering if there will be someone suitable for us just a day away.

As much as I don't believe that God creates barriers to our sex lives, I also don't think the devil is the temptress. We all have free will to choose what we act on, don't work on, and why we do something.

God does have a lot to do with what we were supposed to gain from experiences.

"Discernment" is often kicked around in spiritual and religious circles. Discernment about vocations is common. I suspect that the Catholics may be correct that relationships are vocations. These vocations include being a priest or monastic, married, celibacy, and Consecrated Virgins. In my practice of discernment, I am genuinely requesting God's presence in my life choices. There is faith and trust that even if I do not like the option that keeps coming to the surface, it's the right one in the long run.

If a break-up or struggling to find a mate is causing you to reconsider if God is Omnipotent, perhaps there is another way of looking at this. Consider the idea that if God steps in to fix one shaky relationship, it may make other relationships unstable or affect other things in the past and the future. Even when we believe we have the "perfect partner," that does not mean we will stay in the same place. Although it may be a lofty goal to strive to be Christ-like, our departure from Jerusalem is not because of murder in the physical sense of our growth and discernment.

It is our choice when we depart and examine what habits, preferences, and beliefs we cast out and accept the cures and understandings about ourselves that we wish to take with us.

Today's scripture references come from the Revised Common Lectionary for Sunday, March 13, 2022. The passage Luke 13:31-35 can be found here.

What is the Revised Common Lectionary?